Jamie Reagan, his Christmas past, and his Christmas future
by EmLikesToWrite
Summary: What happens when Jamie has a special Christmas visitor, causing him to wake up to the fact that he's about to lose his soulmate? And who exactly is that visitor? Join him on his trip to Christmas past and Christmas future. *I don't own any Blue Bloods characters or the concept of this story.* Reviews appreciated.


Jamie Reagan smiled as he crawled into his bed. It was Christmas Eve, and he was excited about spending the holiday with his family. He was sad at the thought of yet another holiday without a girlfriend, but he knew that he would never find anyone he would want to spend holidays with; except his partner Eddie of course. He sighed, as his head hit his pillow, falling asleep almost instantaneously. Suddenly, there was this… thing shaking him and telling him to get up. Startled and not sure what was happening, Jamie grabbed his gun off his nightstand, and looked at the clock. 3:18 in the morning? Who was this person creature thing, and what did they want? He looked a lot like Joe, but was all glowy and had sparkles. Jamie wasn't even sure what to make of the outfit the thing had on, because it was all gold and satin or something. As if it was reading his mind, the thing spoke.

"Relax. I'm just the uh… Christmas fairy. I'm surprised you don't recognize me. My names Jose… um uh, Jonah. Yeah, my names Jonah. Call me Jo though. I'm here to show you what your future will be like unless you change some things. Christmas is your favorite holiday, and I'm sorry to say that it won't always be that way. Now come on, follow me." Before Jamie knew what was happening, he was suddenly out of his bed and back in a Christmas from his childhood. He was probably about seven then, and Jamie noticed that the seven-year-old him seemed pretty happy as he and his siblings sat in the living room listening to their parents telling the Christmas story. Seven-year-old Jamie was sitting in Linda's lap, as she was there since she was dating Danny. Jamie tried to talk to her, but he realized that his family from so long ago couldn't hear him. Jamie sighed, realizing this would be the first Christmas without Linda since the Christmas he had been taken back too. Jo sighed too, once again basically reading his mind.

"Linda was quite an amazing person. Anyone who knew her was blessed. Just remember that since she believed that Jesus was God's son and that she asked him to forgive her and save her that she's in Heaven." Jo spoke, before forcing Jamie to look back onto the memory some more. Danny and Linda were kissing, and seven-year-old Jamie was saying how one day he wanted to love someone as much as they loved each other. Jamie smiled as he remembered, and watched Joe reassure him how one day he would, even if he had to go through some heartbreak. Joe knew that even at a young age, Jamie was careful, caring and considerate. He was always looking out for people, and he hated to make people feel bad. Joe had hoped that Jamie would use some of that caution and heart-of-gold in his future relationships, but he also knew that sometimes it could lead to heart break.

Jamie had still been watching the memory, smiling at how young and in love Danny and Linda were. Jo interrupted his thoughts.

"Ahh, young love. Which brings me to our next stop." Before he could register what Jo said, Jamie was in the living room with his family again. This time however, he realized that his mom and Joe were missing. It was about twenty years after the last one, and Jamie remembered this Christmas well. It was the about a month and a half after Sydney left. His niece and nephews were all still little and cheery, but Jamie could tell that everyone seemed kinda gloomy. It made sense as his mom and Joe hadn't been gone long, so the family was still kinda getting used to their absences at holidays. Jamie watched them head into the dining room for dinner, and he watched as Danny stopped the twenty-something year old Jamie. The present-day Jamie sighed, remembering the conversation quite well. The Danny in the memory was telling him that even though it hurt now, it would be okay. He needed someone spunky who understood the job, and how Jamie didn't even usually go for brunettes. He went on to explain that Sydney wasn't his type at all, and how the family, even Joe knew that she wasn't ever Jamie's Linda. He laughed at himself as the young Jamie told Danny how much he loved her. The present-day Jamie realized how smart Danny had been when he told him that he didn't love her like that. In fact, he realized he hadn't known what love was at all until he met… Eddie. Jamie sighed. Jo smirked.

"You starting to realize why I brought you here?" He asked. Jamie just nodded. Without any warning, Jamie was taken somewhere else. It was Christmas again, but everyone was… older. Not much, but it was a couple years in the future. Linda was gone, and Danny's boys were coming in the door. Everyone was saying how much they had missed them. Jamie couldn't figure out where they had been until he looked down and saw their college shirts. Ah. It was probably three or four years from now then. Jamie saw the future self-give the boys a hug.

"Heyyy Uncle Jamie!" Jack told him as he gave him a pat on the back.

"No girl again?" Sean asked him looking around.

"Not this year." The older Jamie told him chuckling. Danny came over and gave him a pat on the back.

"Kid, you have to get over Eddie. You missed your chance with her when you didn't go after her four years ago." Danny told him sympathetically.

"I know… it's just that it wasn't the right time. I mean, it was the first Christmas after Linda died, and I wasn't expecting the promotion. I mean, I had just taken the test the week before. Then when Renzulli called him to congratulate me on Christmas and told me I was getting transferred and promoted the next week, I was in shock. I didn't even get to go on one last tour with her! We would still talk and hang out, but then she got that boyfriend of hers. Who she got engaged to yesterday Danny. ENGAGED! We only go out like once a month now… we're hardly friends, and now she's engaged. I lost my chance Danny. She's my Linda." The future Jamie told him, before being wrapped up in a hug. "You gotta talk to her kid. You love her. She's the one and you know it." Danny told the future Jamie calmly. The present-day Jamie was in shock. Did that mean he was going to pass the test and get a call tomorrow? Would he seriously not pursue his relationship with Eddie? Did he talk to her? Jamie knew he probably didn't; he cared to much about Eddie and her feelings. As if he knew what he was thinking, Jo sighed.

"I know. It gets worse. Come on, follow me." As if Jamie had a choice. This time he was expecting the change in scenery. He wasn't expecting the scene though. This time he was still in the living room at Christmas, but he was alone. And old. Like his dad's age old. He was confused as to where everyone was.

"Wondering where everyone is?" Jo asked him. Jamie just nodded.

"Well… Erin and her husband went to see Nicky and her family. Sadly, that husband is Jack Boyle. She didn't want to end up like you, so she got desperate and realized she still cared about him. Danny went to the beach with Sean, Jack, their families, and his wife of the last ten years. And your dad and grandfather… well… they lived long lives. They both went happily and in peace." Jo told him sadly.

"But what about me? What happened? Erin didn't want to end up like me? Tell me I got married…" Jamie asked, concerned for his future. Jo sighed.

"Sadly, I can't. I had so much hope for you; I thought you would be okay. You never got over Eddie though. She ended up marrying the guy and having a family with him because you didn't take your chance. She's happy for the most part, but you were always her first choice. You however never rebounded. I mean, you're Soulmates! Like your uh, brother was afraid of, you were just too cautious and caring. So now, you see her at precinct reunions, and make and effort to spend time with her once or twice a year, but that's it. Your siblings found spouses and have lives. Erin is a judge now, and Danny is retired. You however? Except for your siblings, you're all alone. And there's no going back now. Sorry, but unless you wake up, there's no going back now. I'm so sorry." Jo told him.

"Come on! There's got to be a mistake!" Jamie cried out.

"No! NO! NOOO!" He yelled. Suddenly, something started beeping. Jamie jerked up in his bed, his heart racing. He slammed his alarm off.

"What a nightmare…" He said to himself as he rubbed his eyes. He sighed, knowing that Jo was right. Even if he did get promoted, he would never be able to tell Eddie that he was ready to be in a relationship with her. Four years, two kisses, many arguments and near death experiences, and more romantic moments then he could count, and he still couldn't tell her. There was something inside though that was afraid; not the normal fear he had when he thought of a relationship with Eddie, but the fear of losing his chance. So when later that day he got the call from Renzulli congratulating him, he put his usual fears behind him and didn't waste any time talking to Eddie. They decided to take it slow, and ended up not being able to go on a date for two weeks. When two weeks later Jamie found himself sitting across from her at a diner though, he couldn't help whisper "Thanks, Jo, Whoever you are."


End file.
